Here’s my thoughts about Tinder:
You get what you put out there. ie: if you’re looking for a relationship, you’ll find someone who is in search of one too. If you’re looking for some casual fun, you’ll find (plenty) of that too!
My first experience of Tinder was in 2014. I was a very naive single woman at the age of 36. I loved meeting new people, and that was first and foremost my initial perception of Tinder. I was on for only a short while, ended up meeting who I consider to be my soulmate. But he resides in the UK – and that alone is a very sad, sad story that I’ll diarize some time soon. I went off Tinder as my ex boyfriend came back into my life begging for forgiveness, and in all stupidity I took him back and went through another 6 months of turmoil. By end 2014 I was free of the ex’s psychosis and was back on Tinder with the intention of meeting as many new people as possible and to experiment sexually (as to that date I had only had 4 partners in my 37 years.)
I lived a crazy 2015 Tinder year! I think I went on approximately 40 dates. I made the most amazing friendships during that year too!
In 2016 my Tinder / Dating perspective changed. I kind of had a very good idea of what I wanted in a partner and what I didn’t. I didn’t feel like meeting up with random men unless there was the potential for a relationship. I ended up being on Tinder for a few short months, getting bored, going off, going back on, getting bored…
My 2017 year started pretty much where I had left off in 2016. I wanted a relationship and I practically left swiped 99% of all the Tinder profiles. I then went overseas on holiday, did some introspection, and felt that I wasn’t allowing myself enough scope to meet someone. I considered what an incredible year 2015 was, on the basis of meeting phenomenal men who I am still friends with. I thought I’d rather get out there and meet new people – without the need for sexual experimentation, and see what comes my way.
Low and behold – Not on Tinder even for 1 week with this thought pattern when I matched with a beautiful, beautiful soul. But – a man who has literally just moved out of home and starting with divorce proceedings. Even though we fell head over heels in love, he couldn’t possibly start a relationship now, and so after 2 weeks it ended. To be continued if and when the divorce is wrapped up.
Right now – I don’t know where my head is at on Tinder. My heart aches for this man, and my enthusiasm to meet new people has waned. With this… it seems like my matches thus far are rather superficial. But that’s ok with me, as I’m not feeling really committed to the process right now.
If you are looking for a relationship – put it out there on your profile, and like-minded people will match with you. If you don’t know what you want – that’s also fine! Just be open to meeting with others, and you’ll soon discover and be able to shape your preferences with ease.