It’s now 3 weeks after my plant ceremony and I still have not begun to mentally decline into negative feelings or thoughts. It makes me wonder what the cause of the depression was – is it chemically / hormone based? In my gut I think so. My situation hasn’t changed. Yet I feel more myself than I have in 6 months.
What is damn scary is looking back and realising how lost and out of control I was, for no fault of my own. I know this is what many suicides experience, these feelings – but what if it isn’t THEM feeling, but purely a chemical imbalance in the brain? What if their entire disposition can be changed with a minor adjustment from either medication / natural remedy? How many lives we could save. How much hurt, confusion and despair can be eradicated. Only someone who has gone through depression can understand and empathize. Can understand why someone could take their life.
Life is good right now. Not free of problems, but when you are mentally okay, everything seems manageable. I am going on several tinder dates. A total of 7 in the last 2 weeks. I have met the most amazing men, and have been inspired to “make the circle” bigger by meeting as many new people as possible. Without expecting anything.