My first Tinder date ever, back in 2014, turned out to be my soul mate. But this isn’t a happy ever after story.
Back in 2014, Tinder was a very new concept, and I was freshly single, naive and keen to try the app. I matched with this gorgeous man from the UK, arranged to meet for drinks in town. I was pretty much in the frame of mind of being a “tour guide”, not in my wildest dreams expecting to fall in love. And boy, oh boy – did he and I connect instantly. That instant connection and knowing that he was my “one” cannot be explained. I would never have advocated the “love at first sight” nonsense.. until I met “M”.
“M” returned to the UK after 4 days of meeting. We had spent every moment of those 4 days getting to know each other, and falling deeper and deeper into this fairytale romance. He and I kept in touch after his departure and made plans for his return 6 months later, where we would spend 10 days road tripping and getting to know each other still better.
Unfortunately, my ex boyfriend came back onto the scene in May that year and begged forgiveness, and I stupidly caved in since he was here in the same city as me, and being an empath, wanted to believe his apology and give him a 2nd chance. I ended things with “M” who understood that I needed to do this.
In September 2014, I ended things with the ex again. And for the final time. And “M” and I were back in contact. I can’t explain how in 4 days in 2014, I managed to determine he was my soul mate. But I knew it to be so down to every fiber in my body. And I found that as I continued dating (since “M” was in the UK), that no man matched up to him, and I began wondering if this was holding me back or was it setting the tone for what I should be expecting of a partner (not like the doosh of a cheating ex)?
In March 2015, I had received a surprising message from “M” to say he was coming to visit me by the end of the month! I was over the moon excited!
However – the Universe had other plans. 😦 Two days before his flight, he was called out to an emergency and sadly delayed to the extent of missing the flight. Both him and I were heart broken. We didn’t really speak for about 2 months thereafter, the disappointment was just overwhelming.
I decided in June 2015 that I would visit him rather in the UK, and was planning to do so in September that year. Again, life threw us a curve ball. “M” met someone in the UK and wanted to see this new relationship through. How could I possibly decline that since he did the same for me the year before?
In December 2015, “M” and his girlfriend broke up. This renewed our contact with each other as well as both our needs to meet again, as we were clearly not finding what we had experienced with each other in 2014. I was convinced every man I met was turned down because he wasn’t “M”. And I knew that mindset was detrimental to my own path of finding happiness with a partner.
In May 2016, I sent a drunken voicenote to “M” with these exact thoughts. I waffled on about doubting the validity of my feelings after spending only 4 days with him 2 years ago, and how I was perhaps unrealistically putting him on a pedestal, and begged him to come see me so that I could verify these feelings. And so he did…
In October 2016, after 2 and a half years of originally meeting, “M” came to stay with me for 10 days. My doubts were put aside from the moment our eyes met again, we slipped straight into that complete feeling of connection and I knew with all my heart that he was my “one”. And he felt very much the same.
The saddest part is that we can’t be together right now, not now, not next year… maybe in 5 years. He cannot relocate to me, nor me to him – at the moment. Why did I have to meet him? How sad is it to find your soul mate and not being able to be with him.
What have I taken from this experience?
- You can meet your soulmate on Tinder.
- I know with all my heart what I want in a partner
- I will never again settle for 2nd best. I’d rather stay single
- I know that you can have more than 1 soulmate in your lifetime. And I believe in it. I know that I will recognise it instantly, as I did with “M”.