Tinder & Death & Depression

8 months ago I went on a Tinder date with a Swedish Kitesurfer.  We got on extremely well and due to being in my country for 3 months, we spent a bit of time together.  I took him around my city, we enjoyed drinks and sunsets and I spent my New Years Eve with him (2016).  He left Cape Town end February and we stayed in contact with random little messages about travels, life and his deep respect for my breasts.  🙂

This weekend, sadly he passed away.  33 years old.  Living the dream – traveling the world, kiting and working remotely.  His death has affected me intensely.  I feel like it has knocked me back a quite a bit, onto the verge of looking into that black hole of depression again.  I’m wondering why I’m so affected – other tinder dates would probably not have created this deep sense of despair?  Is it because I saw him 5 months ago, and can still picture ever nuance of him?  Is it because I slept with him?  Is it because he was an incredibly beautiful soul, who lived life to the max and with such joyful abandonment?  The worst thing is that he has been on my mind for a full week before his death, and I kept wanting to message him, but it kept slipping my mind.  A friend told me that it is in fact better that I hadn’t messaged him as it would have been even more traumatic for me, which I tend to agree with.

I do thank Tinder that I had met him.  “Life is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them.  Life is short.  Live your dream and share your passion.”